5 OF THE CRAZIEST RED CARDS EVER GIVEN
Maci Gian
A good, clean game is fun and all, but it’s nowhere near as entertaining as watching all the insane things Super League players will do to try and help their team win, even if it costs them a penalty. From smaller offenses such as holding the ball hostage and accidental injuries, to intense scenarios like shoving a whistle up a referee’s nose and accidentally causing a natural disaster, we’ll be looking at the craziest red cards players have received!
5. BITING THE BALL
It’s against the rules to grab the ball with your hands, everyone knows that, but what about grabbing it with your teeth? During a game at Faux Camp, the men in purple were going up against Azul, who’s strikers seemed exponentially on point that day. Their kicks were leaving Barka in the dust, and some kicks got so high it’d completely fly past everyone’s heads, leaving the home team little to no room to claim the ball for themselves!
Many attempts were made to intercept, from heading to leaping off one another in the hopes for extra height, until eventually, Ramon managed to reach the ball’s level. What looked to be a guaranteed hit in the face made an unexpected turn when Ramon bit down on the ball and started charging towards Azul’s goal!
His teammates, the opposition, and the ref were all stunned, and could only stop and stare as he kept sprinting across the field. Even De Los Santos’ guard was lowered as he watched the player quickly approach him. Nobody was able to find out what Ramon planned on doing when he actually got to the goal, because the ref blew the whistle and gave him his red card, prompting him to drop the ball and apologize.
After the game, the ref stated: “Honestly, I was completely caught off guard and a little impressed. Couldn’t recall if we ever had a game where a player had the ball in their mouth—willingly—so I had to really think if this was breaking any rules.”
They determined: “It was akin to handling the ball, it was unplayable. He was holding it in a way where neither Azul or Barka could take it from him without kicking a few teeth out. Not allowed. Impressive, but not allowed.”
4. BEADS IN THE EYE
Players have thrown themselves at other players before, some players have even thrown their shoes at opponents in an attempt to slow them down, but it seems for Shane Fin, those were much too big for his liking.
During a game against Colossus, Achilles was tasked with being Shane’s marker in the second half, and he was good at it. Despite Colossus’ reputation for being one of the slower teams, Achilles was able to keep up the pace, always trailing behind Hydra’s striker by a few feet, and it seemed his presence was applying more and more pressure until he got a little too close for comfort.
When Shane had taken control of the ball, Achilles had gotten faster, and just before he could swoop in and steal it, Shane tore off the beads from his hair and chucked them at Achilles’ face, resulting in one getting in the Greek giant’s eye!
Even before the whistle was blown and the card was taken out, Shane had already stopped to check on the opposing midfielder and was frantically apologizing, stating it was a decision made on impulse, and he didn’t expect the beads to actually hit Achilles. Achilles, though hunched over and constantly rubbing his irritated eye, was thankfully understanding.
After the game, Shane went on to further explain himself, saying that having a giant player breathing down his neck reminded him all too much of Iron Tank, who he’s had many bad experiences getting trampled over by, and didn’t want a repeat to happen again. He ended his statement with: “It was still totally unrighteous for me to do that, I’m super sorry, Achilles-dude.”
3. PLAYING WITH FIRE
Did you know Invincible United built flamethrowers into the Vice’s ground for their training sessions? The referee certainly didn’t.
While it’s mind boggling the Disciplinary Board even approved of flamethrower usage in the first place, it seemed Invincible United was using it responsibly, making sure their players didn’t get burnt, turning them off before games… Until they didn’t.
In the middle of a match against Technicali, Skarra and Snake had both attempted to tackle Thaddeus Tharrington the III. Skarra managed to get a hit, leading to Thaddeus falling face first into the field, and prompting the ref to start fishing out a yellow card. However, as soon as he started making his way to Skarra, he unknowingly stepped on a trigger for one of the flamethrowers. The fire blasted out for only a few seconds, and while he wasn’t injured, his clothes were completely charred, as were the tips of his hair.
He threw aside whatever remained of the yellow card, took out a red one, and tossed it out onto the field.
It wasn’t for anyone in particular, just: “In general.” According to him.
Invincible United ultimately decided to give the card to Automatic, as he was standing closest to it at the time. The referee was sent home to clean himself up and recover.
2. MOVING THE GOAL POST
Nobody wants their opposition to score, especially not a team as iron-willed as Iron Tank themselves! When their game against Cosmos was getting to it’s last few minutes, with Iron Tank having 3 points, and Cosmos having 4, Ninja and Scissors were working together to get one last goal in, and they were working fast.
They were able to weave the ball through the legs of multiple Iron Tank players, skillfully avoiding any attempts at interception, and their sharp turns left their opponents in the dust. They only had two obstacles in the way of their goal: Grenade and Thor. The rest of Iron Tank was halfway across the field, still trying desperately to catch up.
While Grenade readied himself, Thor seemed frozen on the spot, which prompted his captain to shout: “Don’t just stand zer, do somez’ing!”
Right on cue, Ninja kicked the ball, and—in a moment of panic—Thor grabbed the goal post and shoved it by several feet, preventing Ninja from scoring the goal, and baffling everyone.
A red card was given due to Thor’s stunt unfairly preventing a goal. Uber harshly criticized Thor for his poor planning, while Thor argued he was thinking outside the box when immediately put on the spot, and it was Uber’s lack of directions and poor leadership skills that lead to him making such a drastic decision.
1. TRIGGERING AN AVALANCHE
It’s always a bummer when the weather starts to turn for the worse during a game. Rain, thunderstorms, blizzards, intense humidity… Now imagine what fans at the Olympii stadium felt when Colossus’ captain, Perseus, suddenly brought on a natural disaster. This wasn’t some sinister scheme he had been working on behind the scenes to use during their game against Orion, in fact, it was a total accident.
The score had been stuck on 2 - 2 from the first match all the way to the half-way point of the second match, something that Perseus craved to change. He had managed to take control of the ball and completely broke away from his team’s original strategy, resulting in him quickly getting deep into Orion territory, but at the cost of being completely surrounded by the enemies with no teammates to help.
The goal was still far away, and with the minutes ticking by, Perseus didn’t want to risk taking a second longer, so when Andre Meda started to approach him, Perseus swung his leg back as far as he could and kicked the ball with such force fans claimed it shook the stadium!
Perseus’ kick sent the ball flying… All the way outside of the stadium and to one of the neighboring mountains.
Fans stated they heard a small ’Boom’, followed by a low rumble, then suddenly, an avalanche.
Snow from the mountain began tumbling down, and while thankfully the stadium was surrounded by thick, tall, cobblestone walls, chunks of snow still managed to fly inside, getting onto the field and seats. Thankfully there were no severe injuries, though Orion did have to dig Neil out of the pile he got stuck under.
Because of the size of the snow piles, and how much space they took up on the field, the game had to be postponed, but not before the ref speechlessly gave Perseus his red card, to which Perseus speechlessly accepted, both of their gazes still stuck on the now naked mountain. While Perseus remained stunned by his own actions, he helped Olympii’s staff with shoveling away the snow and repairing any damage. To this day, Colossus fans love to bring up this event as a reminder of the captain’s strength, and to showcase what a force he is to reckon with!