"I DON'T CARE..." ARES RESPONDS TO UBER

Maci Gian

With the game between Super League’s two giants quickly approaching, and Johann Uber’s threat towards the Greek team hanging over head, fans were anxiously waiting to see what Colossus had to say in response, especially given their long stretch of silence since the announcement of this match.

Colossus had started their travel to the Fortress several days ago, and while fans & journalists alike were keeping track of their progress, it had proven to be relatively difficult for anyone to catch up and have a word with them, as the breaks they’ve taken have been rather inconsistent.

Finally, though, journalists had managed to arrive early at one of the hotels Colossus had booked to ask their thoughts on what Johann Uber had said to them.

“I don’t care for what he says,” Ares said, “it is the skill one displays on the field that will have far more impact than words.”

Ares was asked if he felt he was ready to take on a team equal to his size for once. He simply nodded and didn’t elaborate.

Achilles, on the other hand, had much more to share.

“I loathe thy time diff'rence m're than I loathe that big, uncouth brute. It hath been nay impossible to receive’th mine’th beauty slumber. I wish’eth we couldst cease touring f'r one day so I couldst prop'rly careth f'r myself.” He leaned against Ares and slicked back his hair, which looked notably frizzier than usual. “We journey, we practiceth, we rest, then we awaken and repeateth the process ov'r and ov'r again.”

Demetrius and Bemus were seen passing by their fellow teammates.

“We don’t have as much time as we usually do to get all cleaned up,” Demetrius started, “but some of us have had much more time than others because they keep hogging the bathrooms.”

Achilles gasped, “Some of us truly care about our appearance, farmer!”

Demetrius turned to Achilles, “Iron Tank won’t care how you look! You think they’re going to stop mid-game and think: ‘Wow, Achilles looks really good today’?”

“And you have spent more time on your facial routine than our practices…” Bemus added, “You’re probably going to have a lot more to worry about on the field than your looks.”

Achilles grabbed onto Ares and shook him, “Ares, stop’th them from being so cruel to me!”

Before Ares had a chance to chime in, the team’s coach and their captain came through and began ushering them into the hotel.

While Nick Kickalopolous declined to comment on anything, stating they had just finished a long trip, and they needed to rest, Perseus took a moment to speak to the reporters at the scene.

“You heard it from Uber himself, his team’s getting weaker. A soft goalie, a scared striker, and with their Colonel out of the picture? They’re directionless. They’ll be easy to plow through.”

When asked if he had anything he wanted to say to Iron Tank—or to Johann Uber himself—Perseus smirked.