NINJA'S PARTY BUSTED?!

Maci Gian

Ninja had to put an early end to the party he was hosting this past weekend due to several Super League agents swarming his mansion and demanding he ‘close it all down’ for an investigation!

What were they investigating, exactly? Apparently, they had gotten an anonymous report accusing Ninja of using his party as a cover-up to exchange other teams’ strategies with the players he invited!

With such a big claim, you can imagine the shock all of the guests felt when they heard it… And you can only imagine Ninja’s shock as well, as he immediately denied it!

Super League agents scouted Ninja’s home, searching just about every room, picking out the players they found, and gathering them up in the living room for questioning. One agent had accidentally awakened Luxury—one of Ninja’s white tigers—by bursting into it’s bedroom, only to be promptly chased out, thankfully with only minor injures.

Among some of the players who were at the event included: Cosmos’ Scissors, Keller, and Bolo, while the off-team players were Liquido, Skipper, Snake, Skarra, Jordi, and Enrique. Allegedly, a couple of Orion players might’ve been present at the party, but fled the scene right before the agents started their search. One of Ninja’s neighbors claimed they had spotted multiple men leaping off one of his balconies right as the agents’ vehicles began pulling in, however, due to lack of camera footage and how dark it was outside, no visual descriptions could be provided, so it’s still up in the air whether that was truly them or not.

The rest of the non-player guests were quickly questioned if they had heard or spotted anything related to these accusations before being escorted outside. With such a big crowd surrounding the mansion, along with the barricades and vehicles, it didn’t take long for journalists and paparazzi alike to flock to the area and try to slip inside.

When Ninja was confronted, this is what he told the agents:

“What, you think we’re in one of those petty, teen-drama reality TV shows?! You think we’re all sitting around giggling to ourselves while passing notes about some big cheating scandals?”

He went on.

“I invite Super League players all the time and I’ve never done something like that before. I don’t get how this night’s party is any different from the others. Besides, if I was handing out that sort of stuff, don’t you think it would’ve gotten out sooner? Or that I’d be really be doing it for free?”

The other players were asked if they could verify Ninja’s statement, and all of them were in agreement.

“Dude just throws good parties, he totally doesn’t need to lure us in with some ‘top secret’ plans or whatever.” Skipper said, “ ‘Sides, the guy’s got a sick pool! That’s a good enough reason to keep us coming back.”

“As if we need hand outs!” Skarra exclaimed, “What sorta chumps do we look like to ya?!

“Yeah, we’ve been to a good couple of these now.” Jordi nodded along, “We’ve talked to Ninja a bunch of times, and man does he talk, but we’ve never heard him say anything about other teams’ plans. Heck, I think I’ve heard him talk about himself more than his own team.”

“Right. Gah, if he was doing that, Riano and Golari would’ve dragged us out of here ages ago.” Enrique said.

“Another thing!” Ninja interrupted, “Yeah! If I was giving away cheating strats, don’t you think everyone would try to get in here?! Don’t you find it a little weird that that freaky scientist guy or one of his stupid lackeys didn’t try to break in or anything?”

“You didn’t send Technicali an invite?” An agent asked.

Ninja threw his head back, “No, have you seen the way they dress? I’m hosting parties, not high school reunions!”

The Super League agents spent roughly the next hour searching around Ninja’s house to ‘be certain’ the striker wasn’t hiding anything, and though they assured him and his guests that they could ‘continue the party’, Ninja called it off.

“As if we wanna be babysat. I’ll just host another at one’a the casinos.”

As the other players left, multiple journalists had managed to get inside. While Ninja had answered their questions the same way he had with the agents, there was one question they asked that stuck out to him:

“Who do you think made the accusation?”

His answer shocked them.

“Pah, bet it was Emilio. Sucker hasn’t been to any in my parties in a while and he’s probably upset we’re not being miserable with him, so he hadda drag us down with him.”

Journalists asked why a fellow Cosmos player would try to sabotage his own team in such a petty manner, and Ninja put a hand up.

“He’s a petty guy. Trust me, I’ve sent my little invitations, I’ve offered to drive him over, and he knows I give special attention to my team, but guess he loves holding grudges more than he does supporting us.”

The other Cosmos players were questioned if they also suspected Emilio. Keller and Scissors were uncertain.

“He’s serious—definitely more serious than Ninja—but it’s not like he hates the parties he throws.” Said Scissors, their other striker, “He used to go to a ton of them, heck, he’d be one of the first ones there.”

Keller nodded along, “Right, and it’s… I don’t know, he’s had a lot of time to do this sort of thing, so it doesn’t make sense why he decided to do it now. Especially with the way Mr. Watkins gets.”

Bolo was the only member to flat out reject this idea, simply shaking his head and not elaborating.

For the next couple of days, Emilio was reached out to numerous times for his thoughts on the matter, and while he didn’t engage with most of the questions, this is what he did decide to share:

“I haven’t gone to one of his dang parties in ages, haven’t even thought about ‘em, and now he’s saying I’m tryin’ to ruin them? Sure. Whatever.”

Emilio has refused to comment any further.